Unwrapping Christmas Cheer: The dance inside your brain

That burst of glitter, the twinkling lights. The rum-pa-pum-pum of our favourite carols.

For many of us, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. “Christmas cheer” is the joy, warmth and nostalgia we feel when the jingle bells start jingling. In fact, studies show that our brains have special wiring that comes alive at Christmas time.

 However, not all of that wiring triggers positive emotions. If you find yourself grappling with negative feelings around Christmas, that’s your brain responding to memories and patterns it’s built up.

In this post, we'll look into what’s happening inside our brains during the festive period. We’ll acknowledge both the positive and challenging emotions Christmas cheer triggers. And look at ways to rewire your brain to feel good on-demand.

The magic of memories

Christmas cheer is a passport to a feel-good world. Revisiting childhood homes, spending time with family and indulging in the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of Christmas triggers fond memories. It’s a time of celebration and connecting with loved ones. An emotion, that according to a Danish study, causes the feel-good centres in our brain to, quite literally, light up like a Christmas tree. 

That’s because our brain relives previous experiences as if they’re happening now, meaning Christmas cheer allows us to feel good on-demand. 

So, what happens when our Christmas memories aren’t so cheery?

The flipside of Christmas cheer

As magical as Christmas cheer can be, the holiday season can also bring up conflicted emotions. And the same area of our brain that’s lit up by Christmas sights and sounds can also be extinguished by feelings of loneliness, overwhelm and inadequacy.

Maybe carols remind you of the added financial pressures of Christmas. Maybe hearing others’ Christmas plans reminds you that you’ll spend yet another Christmas alone. Maybe all that tinsel makes you feel overwhelmed by societal expectations to be the perfect host, buy the perfect gifts and create the perfect holiday. And, maybe, instead of joy, you feel inadequate as you compare yourself to others’ ideals, successes and expectations.

And that’s okay, too.

Remember, you’re not alone

Whichever side of the emotional pendulum you swing, it’s important to remember you’re not alone. In fact, for around 20 per cent of people, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) casts a shadow over the festive season, manifesting as sadness instead of joy.

Whatever emotions you feel about Christmas are based on your memories and beliefs about what this time of year brings. The good news is, there’s still hope for a magical Christmas.

How to create Christmas cheer: Rewire your brain to feel good

In each moment, our brains are constructing our emotional reality. We have the power to turn the cheer lever on or off. This is known as prediction. Our brains run on a model that’s based on patterns it creates from previous experiences. So, the more positive our experiences around Christmas, the easier it is for our brains to construct Christmas cheer on-demand.

 It’s about creating an emotional reality that works for you. Here’s how:

Do things you enjoy

Just because the season demands we see as many people as possible, doesn’t mean you should say yes to everything. Pick activities that bring you joy and say no to the rest. The more you do this, the more you’ll build your feel-good wiring.

Create new traditions

If past traditions are tainted with negativity, create new ones that are meaningful to you and your family. This can help reshape your holiday experience, building positive associations that align with your values.

Embrace imperfection

Who decides Christmas should look and feel a certain way? Challenge cultural ideals of the ‘perfect’ Christmas and let go of the “shoulds”. Instead, think about ways you can create genuine moments of love, joy and connection.

Spend time with people you love

If spending time with certain groups makes you feel depleted and resentful, choose to spend time with people you love and whose company lifts you up.

Adopt a giving mindset

Giving feels good. In fact, our brain interprets gift giving the same way it does receiving a gift. When we give someone a gift, our neural pathways light up, emphasising the joy found in the act.

Practice gratitude

When we give thanks for the little and big ways our lives are blessed, everything changes. Write down five things you’re grateful for each morning and before bed, think about and give thanks for the best thing that happened to you that day. You’ll start to see the magic and wonder in living, and so will everyone around you.

Finally…

There’s no doubt that the festive season is an emotionally charged time. If you find yourself on the spectrum of joy, warmth, and belonging, spread your cheer to those who may be struggling. The magic of the holidays lies in our collective effort to lift each other up. If, on the other hand, you’re struggling with feelings of sadness and anxiety, remember that you are not alone.

Reach out for support

If feelings of loneliness or inadequacy become overwhelming, reach out to friends and family you trust. Or speak to one of our clinical psychologists to get the support you need.